Cards Against Humanity: Fantasy Pack Full Spoiler

25 11 2015

White Cards

The Card Neil Gaiman wrote: “Three elves at a time.”
Going on an epic adventure and learning a valuable lesson about friendship.
True love’s kiss.
Eternal darkness.
The all-seeing Eye of Sauron.
Gender equality.
Accidentally conjuring a legless horse that can’t stop ejaculating.
Dinosaurs who wear armor and you ride them and they kick ass.
Freaky, pan-dimensional sex with a demigod.
Bathing naked in a moonlit grove.
Kneeing a wizard in the balls.
Shitting in a wizard’s spell book and jizzing in his hat.
Handcuffing a wizard to a radiator and dousing him with kerosene.
Shooting a wizard with a gun.
A CGI dragon.
A mysterious, floating orb.
Reading The Hobbit under the covers while mom and dad scream at each other downstairs.
A magical kingdom with dragons and elves and no black people.
A gay sorceror who turns everyone gay.
A Hitachi Magic Wand.
A dwarf who won’t leave you alone until you compare penis sizes.
How hot Orlando Bloom was in Lord of the Rings.
A ghoul.
A weed elemental who gets everyone high.
Make-believe stories for autistic white men.

Black Cards

Your father was a powerful wizard, Harry. Before he died, he left you something very precious: _______.
Legend tells of a princess who has been asleep for a thousand years and can only be awoken by _______.
And in the end, the dragon was not evil; he just wanted _______.
Who blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time?
Critics are raving about HBO’s new Game of Thrones spin-off, “_______ of _______.”
Having tired of poetry and music, the immortal elves now fill their days with _______.

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